What they don't teach me (you) at school

Curiosity comes first.

The word should lie at the heart of all learnings. Despite the idiosyncrazy that teachers have done to students like"don't ask, just memorize", there is a must freedom. Freedom to discover. When learners have the right to discover, teachers have to pass a law that questions are not nuisance to them. Education transforms.

Then comes the integrity.

Living a lie does not feel good. Living a solid personality feels true. Yet, educated people fear risks. Risks to lose positions, promotions, even friends, colleagues and people who create a comfort zone. Schools have been full of those who without reflection are still pretending.How would honesty dominate the minds of the students while the teachers refuse to whip themselves but sell their lives in deception?

Tolerance follows.

"The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority," said Ralph W.Sockman. No wonder, schools are filling up more and more with relieved but confused people. Yes, relieved because they are not infiltrated by the different voices, but confused because conscience is disappearing, while differences should be treated with delight, not a problem. I remember what Kahlil Gibran has found out. He learned tolerence from the intolerent, kindness from the unkind, yet strangely he is ungrateful to these teachers.


And then there is compassion.

Ironically schools nowadays have become communities without a soul, to be blinded by worldly matters and selfishness. How would you understand schools that should bring one closer to God, gradually make everyone withdraw. Schools only become the self-obsessed for some people. Classrooms are just wall meeting rooms. Why should we trust their education while they are bereft of what we call the unconditional love, the compassion?

Is Your Zipper up or down?

Have you ever known that a zipper is one of the most hilarious devices in human history? Zipper was invented by Whitcomb L. Judson in 1890 and used to be called "clasp-locker". I guess when he invented his zipper he must have had a very deep thought about carefulness, neatness, privacy and dignity. Yes, I never imagine that a zipper has played important roles in the life of a person.


Have you also ever heard a story about the ex American president, Bill Clinton who lost 25% of the people's votes in one of the States just because he forgot to close his zipper? What a shame! Even, one of the local television networks has gone through the zipper and the fly and caught.... the grey undergarments.....of Bill. The next day after what happened, a big headline appeared on the local newspapers : " A man's dignity lies on his zipper". Aha... Another response came to mock, " You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of Hillary". What a sensational President!


Despite all, I am of the opinion that a zipper is a symbol of a harmony between a man and a woman. This idea just hatches after I read what Judson defined his invention:

"each link of each chain is provided both with a male and female coupling part, and when the
chains are coupled together, the female part of each link on one chain is engaged by the male part of a link on the other chain."

Amazing, isn't it? How a zipper travels into the territory of gender.....


Another story comes from a friend who has a bedroom war with her husband.The husband and wife usually exchange words and make private language. Day after day after day.... Until one day...the husband broke the codes. He arrived from nowhere, sent home, so ruffled. Then, he told her his connubial secrets..... the secrets that a zipper might tell...Yes, his zipper that permitted the knifeblade stabbed the heart of a lady. The bedroom war began since then...

I suddenly comprehend that life is a zipper. Sometimes you can control it, but sometimes it is out of control. When it is, there will be shrieks, groans and laments. A question appears like a venom: Is your zipper up or down?

My Mother

My mother is a saint.

I remember quite well when I was very little. Perhaps, 5 years old. She said to me always that a person should not worry about tomorrow. I didn't understand what she meant, but I sensed that several times she was worried about me. Was she inconsistent? That's what I thought, but I never dared to challenge her; not because she was my mother, but because I was afraid that I might make her more worried. I knew exactly when she was sad and when she was struggling with her turmoil. Again, I never asked.

One thing that I never forget her is that she is my problem solver. With her hands, she would wipe my tears and give me the wayouts. She made me the luckiest daughter in the world.She never agreed or disagreed to any decision I made, but.... she would let me energize myself in times of trouble. Then she would move from passive to active and make it ultimately resolved.

There were times when life was very harsh for her, yet, she remained strong, tough, smart, and still full of compassion. At the same level of difficulties women might not be able to cope as my mother did. No wonder, she dazzled everyone.

She never lost touch with what was real. She would never fly a plane in fog, where she did not know whether she was upright or not. So, she never shut out reality. She said that being afraid of facing it would make people lose their moral balance. For that, I would award her an honorary degree in life.

Once she said: "Choices are easier if you have principles". I was dumbfounded. "Your principles , the ones you work out for yourself", she continued. That was a bona fide advice., while I used to live in the world of "accepted practice." Personally, I grade her idea an A+

My mother always had a heartwarming story. It made me have a dream, a colossal dream that I wanted to work about it. Listening to it each day, I was addicted, especially to the message it conveyed. She really made a difference.

Even, at the end of her life, she still amazed people. She passed away, the same hour, the same day as the hour and the day she was born. A merciful release. Although for us who loved her it was the end of the world, life never ends, even with death. She lives on in us.

More on my resolution......

I just realize that our community lives and breathes and grows unsystematically even as human does. Sadly, more and more people in this contemporary society view lives with little interest or compassion;more or less bored, more or less inclined to find faults. I would say, however, it is still possible to learn to look and listen with appreciation, eventhough what is happening may not be wonderful, thrilling, inspiring, or even pleasant. I welcome the year 2009 by viewing life with a sense of wonder. I would like to see the magic in things; to hear the music in children's laughter, a neighbor's hello, a soulmate's whisper, to smile at the absurdity of things (including my own inclination to take myself, my passion, my possession, and my opinions too seriously...haha)

My resolution....continued

(my message #2): " Getting and spending we lay waste our powers", said Wordsworth.Unless you define what enough means for you, in money and worldly goods, you are not free to do what you ought to be doing. I believe that we can't abolish money, and I wouldn't want to. Indeed we need lots more of it.... It is the fuel of civilization. The trouble is that when the fuel goes where it isn't meant to, it can get messy and dangerous. I hope and pray that you won't lose your soul for the name of the game that money plays.Let me quote Dickens in his David Cooperfield "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

My resolution in 2009

(my message #1 to my children): I would prefer at this point of resolution to lose myelf in the thought thru my game of words that progress is not victory but compromise, despite the world of envy, infighting, and suspicion around. ....Let me put this way, compromise means both sides have to forgive and forget the past. History has to be put to bed. No more references to"that time when you...."-whatever it was you did or said. Compromise is needed if we are to stay together. Victory for one or the other would have meant defeat for both sides because both would have split.Let's work out a shared dream which we give us each role in a common project-our life together.The dream needs constant re working. It is not easy, though. Have faith, but "Faith without works is dead".

My reflection on 2008

As I walked down the street this morning I saw the garbage filled the street around my home. I was well aware that If I was not careful, the wind would blow the garbage and wipe it to my face. I reflect, that the garbage here is more metaphorical than real.....

I am more and more conscious that I haven't done much to remove the metaphorical garbage around the feet of my children. While I am busied myself with acquiring a better lifestyle, the world they are moving into seems to have lost its quality, and the preparation for it seems to be failing them.

Who are today the trustees of the future of our children? We are. That's parenthood.
Yet, There is still, I hope, time to make amends.